When Worry Takes Hold: How to Support Your Child Through Anxiety

As a parent, watching your child struggle with anxiety can stir up so many emotions, worry, helplessness, even fear. You may find yourself wishing you could take away their pain with a hug or a simple, “It’s okay.” But anxiety doesn’t work that way. It’s complex and deeply rooted, and helping your child through it means learning how to meet them where they are with patience, empathy, and a few well-grounded tools. Just as importantly, it means remembering to care for yourself along the way.

Here’s how you can support your child through anxiety, and stay strong together.

1. Understanding What Anxiety Really Is

Anxiety is more than everyday worry. It’s a physical and emotional response to perceived threats, real or imagined. And while adults might understand what they’re feeling, children often don’t have the words to express what’s going on inside.

Instead of saying, “I’m feeling anxious,” your child might say their tummy hurts, insist on staying home, cry without an obvious reason, or act out with anger or defiance. These behaviors aren’t “bad”, they’re signals. Their nervous system is on high alert, and they’re doing the best they can to cope.

Understanding this helps you shift from reacting to responding. Rather than correcting the behavior, you’re now decoding it. Ask yourself, “What might they be feeling underneath this outburst?” That lens of curiosity can open the door to connection and healing.

2. Create a Safe, Predictable Environment

Children with anxiety thrive in environments where they feel safe and know what to expect. Structure and routine can help calm their nervous systems by reducing the number of “unknowns” in their day.

-Set consistent routines for meals, bedtime, and transitions.

-Prepare them in advance for changes or new situations (e.g., “We’re going to the dentist tomorrow. I’ll stay with you the whole time.”)

-Offer choices where possible. Feeling in control of small decisions can ease anxiety and build confidence.

Reassure your child that no matter how they’re feeling, you are their safe place. Let them know, “Whatever you’re feeling is okay. I’m here to help you through it.”

3. Teach Simple, Effective Coping Skills

Your child doesn’t have to feel powerless in the face of anxiety. There are tools they can learn to manage their emotions, and you can practice them together:

-Deep breathing: Teach them to breathe in slowly for four counts, hold for four, and breathe out for four. Make it playful, blow bubbles, pretend to smell a flower, or use a stuffed animal on their belly to watch it rise and fall.

-Name the feeling: Help them label what they’re experiencing (“It sounds like you’re feeling really nervous about school tomorrow.”) Naming emotions can reduce their intensity and help your child feel seen.

-Grounding techniques: Ask them to name 5 things they can see, 4 they can touch, 3 they can hear, 2 they can smell, and 1 they can taste. This brings their focus to the present moment.

-Use a worry box or journal: Give them a place to write or draw their worries and “put them away” for now. Journaling can help make the overwhelming feel more manageable.

Practicing these tools regularly, not just in moments of distress helps build their emotional muscle over time.

4. Offer Reassurance Without Dismissing Their Feelings

It can be tempting to say, “There’s nothing to worry about,” or “Just calm down.” But those phrases, while well-intentioned, can feel dismissive to a child who is deeply overwhelmed.

Instead, validate what they’re feeling and guide them gently forward:

-“That sounds really hard. I can see why you’d feel nervous.”

-“You’re safe, and I’m right here with you.”

-“Let’s get through this together. What’s one thing we can try right now?”

Reassurance rooted in presence, not just in words, helps your child feel emotionally held.

5. Model Emotional Regulation

Children learn far more from what we do than what we say. If they see you managing your own stress with grace, naming your emotions, and using coping tools, they’ll begin to internalize those behaviors too.

That doesn’t mean you have to be perfect. In fact, being honest about your own struggles in an age-appropriate way teaches resilience:

-“I’m feeling a little overwhelmed right now, so I’m going to take a few deep breaths.”

-“Today was tough. I’m going to journal for a few minutes to help me feel better.”

Showing your child how you care for yourself gives them permission to do the same.

6. Take Care of Yourself, Too

Supporting a child with anxiety can be emotionally draining. You might feel confused, frustrated, or like you’re constantly on edge. Your well-being matters just as much as your child’s.

-Find your own outlets. Talk to a therapist, join a support group, or confide in a trusted friend. You don’t have to carry this alone.
-Set boundaries around your energy. You can’t pour from an empty cup. Rest when you need to.
-Practice self-compassion. You’re doing your best. It’s okay not to have all the answers.

By tending to your own emotional garden, you create a more grounded and loving space for your child to grow.

7. Know When to Seek Professional Support

Sometimes, anxiety becomes too much for a child (or a parent) to manage on their own, and that’s okay. It doesn’t mean you’ve failed. In fact, reaching out is an act of strength.

Therapists trained in childhood anxiety can help your child develop tailored coping strategies and give you tools to support them more effectively. Pediatricians can also help assess whether physical symptoms are related to anxiety and rule out other causes.

If your child’s anxiety is interfering with school, friendships, sleep, or daily life, it’s a good time to explore professional support.

You’re Not Alone, And Neither Are They

Anxiety can feel isolating, for both children and their parents. But you are not alone. With understanding, connection, and the right tools, your child can learn to manage their anxiety, and so can you.

You’re already doing something powerful by showing up, by paying attention, and by being willing to learn. That’s the foundation of healing.

Looking for more support?
Sign up for our Parent Resource Packet or explore our “This Is Me” Journal for Kids, a playful, empowering journal designed to help children explore their emotions, express their thoughts, and feel more confident being themselves.
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